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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28490697">Have my heart, beating and bleeding</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyLifeIsTrash/pseuds/MyLifeIsTrash'>MyLifeIsTrash</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Confessions, Denial of Feelings, Dream is a good friend, Kinda, M/M, One Shot, Requited Love, a little OOC maybe, bad at feelings, he cares, maybe part 2, no beta we die like men, pls be kind this is my first dreamnotfound work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:42:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,176</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28490697</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyLifeIsTrash/pseuds/MyLifeIsTrash</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>George is bad at using his words to tell his friends how he feels. He prefers to show them he cares through his actions.<br/>He realizes however that it's hard to tell a best friend you love them without words.</p>
<p>(George being a coward and Dream being concerned)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>109</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Have my heart, beating and bleeding</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first time writing dreamnotfound, but I find their relationship cute so I wanted to give it a shot. </p>
<p>PLEASE NOTE that I don't actually think Dream and George are in a relationship, neither do I want to force them to be. I simply find the idea of them being that intersting. If either Dream or George ever express discomfort with being shipped, I will take this down without hestiation. Thanks &lt;3</p>
<p>Enjoy this lil story :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A heavy silence hangs in the room.</p>
<p>The low hum of the computer fan and the birds outside is the only sound in George’s room. However, his mind is elsewhere.</p>
<p>Chewing on the inside of his cheek, he lets out a sigh. His palms are sweaty where they rest on his desk. The blaring light of his screens hurts his eyes, but he pays it no mind. His thoughts are too loud in his head for him to care. So loud in fact that he cannot focus on a single one. It’s as if they’re mocking him; messy words and feelings he can’t, won’t, place all pounding in his head.</p>
<p>His lips are dry, and he wets them. George throws a glance at his clock hanging overhead.</p>
<p>2:45 am.</p>
<p>He should sleep, but he isn’t tired. And even if he were, he is sure his mind and heart wouldn’t let him sleep anyways. A sound in his headset snaps his eyes back to the Discord chat on his monitor.</p>
<p>“Are you still there George?” Dream’s low voice, which is usually calming to the older man, sends shivers down his spine. George is tempted to not answer, but he answers before he can think.</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>It sounds foreign in his own ears, and he cringes. <em>What was that?</em> Dream isn’t saying anything, and it makes George all the more uneasy. On one hand the other man’s voice seems to do nothing to ease his anxiety, but on the other hand he wishes he would not shut up, simply to fill the loud silence.</p>
<p>“Dream,” he starts, and the man in question hums, “could you maybe, uh, talk.” <em>You idiot</em>. George bites his lip so hard it might bleed. What the hell was that supposed to mean.</p>
<p>Dream lets out an awkward chuckle. “About what?” He questions.</p>
<p>“Your day, maybe,” George says, and tries to sound disinterested. This is such a weird conversation to be having.</p>
<p>“Oh, my day? I didn’t know you cared so much about me George.” There’s a smile to Dreams voice, and the older is aware that he’s teasing, but he can’t find it in himself to laugh. Instead his heartrate picks up and he feels his blood prick in his fingertips. He doesn’t like it.</p>
<p>The call is once again silent, this time a heavy tension between them. Dream clears his throat and tentatively starts talking. He sounds uncertain, and he stumbles over his words, the way he talks when he’s uncomfortable.</p>
<p>George had made Dream feel uncomfortable.</p>
<p>Not only that, but he couldn’t even find it in himself to listen to what the other man was saying. His voice became nothing more than a mumble to his ears. Instead he picked up on the way that Dream talked made him feel. How his voice felt like it wrapped around him, dragging across his skin. It sent shivers down his spine whenever it got all raspy on his vowels. It suffocated him in ways it shouldn’t, and it scared him.</p>
<p>Everything around him seemed to slip away as Dreams voice was the only thing surrounding him. George felt like he couldn’t breathe, and it drove him crazy.</p>
<p>“Oh my god. Shut up!” He clasped his hand over his mouth, but it was too late. The words hung heavy in the air.</p>
<p>“What the hell is wrong with you today?” Dream sounded annoyed, and maybe a little hurt. George swallowed around the lump in his throat. He wanted to say something, but his mouth was filled with cotton. He could feel tears prick at the corners of his eyes.</p>
<p>Taking a deep breath, he tried calming his nerves. The irrational, illogical side of his brain was screaming at him that it was now or never.</p>
<p>“I-I need to tell you something.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>George would argue that he is not very good with verbally expressing his feelings.</p>
<p>Where others carelessly and carefully construct beautiful poems of admirations for their friends, filled with fondness, he felt lacking. He never did that, because it made him uncomfortable. Why, he didn’t know, but it had always been that way, He preferred to rather show his love through actions, and he hoped his friends knew that.</p>
<p>Instead of “I’m here” he would linger in a call if he sensed distressed. Instead of “I care about you” he’d play for hours distracting his friends from whatever plagued their minds. Instead of “I love you” he would simply be there, be present, laugh at jokes, sleep call, whatever it was that his friends wanted from him, and he really wished they knew that he spoke with his actions.</p>
<p>That’s why telling Dream was so hard.</p>
<p>How could he possibly explain to the other how his heart would beat faster whenever he called. How his voice alone would make George’s body feel like it was on fire. In what world would he ever be able to admit to the butterflies in his belly whenever that wheeze filtered through his headphones. Not in this world, that’s for sure.</p>
<p>So, saying those three words, those three words that should not weight so heavy on his tongue, felt like the only option. There was only one other problem. Where George spoke with actions, Dream used words, and to him “I love you” felt as easy to say as “hello”.</p>
<p>Countless of times have George found himself watching that clip time and time again. Where Dream, so unfairly easy tells George that he loves him. Begs for him to say it back.</p>
<p>It never failed to leave him gasping for air, the way Dream says:</p>
<p>“I love <em>you</em>, just tell me you love me”.</p>
<p>How could he possibly understand that the way George love is different. That his “I love you” carry much more than just platonic love between to friends. He means it, swears by it, with his entire heart.</p>
<p>He loves Dream. He does.</p>
<p>Now he just has to tell him that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you need to tell me?”</p>
<p>George takes a deep breath.</p>
<p>“I love you.” It’s barley a whisper. His heart is beating so loud he swears Dream must hear it. A beat of silence. Worry starts to seep into his bones. Why isn’t he saying anything.</p>
<p>Then, laughter. Loud and unfiltered. Dream is laughing at him.</p>
<p>“What’s so funny!” George is annoyed, and there’s more bite to his words than he intends.</p>
<p>“It’s just- here I was, getting all worried about you, and it turns out you were just gonna say “<em>I love you</em>”. I love you too, you idiot.”</p>
<p>The other man hiccups from the other side of the world, still very much laughing at George. He calms down after a minute.</p>
<p>“I don’t think you understand” George mutters. Really, he could have left it at that. Let Dream think that he only meant it as a friend. The safe way out. But George was already in a rocky boat at sea, might as well drown and get it over with.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“I love you,” a beat of silence,</p>
<p>“Clay.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it!</p>
<p>I really appriciate any kind of feedback, be it positive or constructive&lt;3 Please refrain from leaving hate :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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